My Nine Lives

drMorrisCircleA quick overview of failed apoalyptic end of the world scenarios shows that within my lifetime there were more predictions than years that I have been alive. Why people are so obsessed with this nonsense is beyond me. There seems to be this underlying desire for the world to end. Growing up Christian, I was terrified at the stories that I heard that spoke about Jesus’ second coming. Even as a child I knew there was something wrong with a god who loves you but who would also wreak so much havoc upon the world. It never sat right with me but I was young, naive and I believed. I woke up many nights in terror from nightmares. When people try to preach to me and say that Jesus has given them peace and love, I can honestly say in return that atheism has given me true peace and true love in my life, something that Jesus can not even hold a candle to. Jesus is an asshole in my opinion.

When will people stop believing in these predictions? I mean, come on, even Jesus was wrong. Jesus said:

I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Jesus was a failed apocalyptic prophet.

One Yellow Rabbit:Hayrdie publicity photo: Michael GreenI know that December 21st wouldn’t be on a Christian’s radar because the things that need to happen before Jesus returns haven’t happen yet. But most people are ignorant to their own religion. Some Christians believed this was a Christian end of the world. Others just saw it as generic. Either way, it failed (again).

No good can come of a religion convincing people that there is an ultimate Armageddon. In fact, this false belief in gods will cause believers to start their own wars and bring about the death of many – just to rush things along since God isn’t doing it.

This happened before. Many scholars believe that the war with Rome in 70 CE and the destruction of Jerusalem at that time was brought about by Jews who wanted to speed along the coming Armageddon. It will be similar nut cases who could potentially bring a global war in an effort to speed up God’s coming. He won’t come because he doesn’t exist but the world will be decimated by the time these idiot religions nuts realize that.

If only we could get people to stop believing, we could work together as one human race to save the world from natural threats and not from supernatural ones.

In my own life, I remember being told the world was going to end in 1987. I can not recall the specific date. I was in high school. I remember walking up the stairs heading to my next class and I found a note on the stairs. It read, “End of the World Orgy in Cafeteria C.” I don’t think anyone participated in that orgy, maybe they did. I almost went to investigate but the skeptic in me knew that I had more danger skipping class than from any end of the world scenario.

I remember the week before that day. It rained a lot. I remember a kid on the bus saying that it was supposed to rain for three days straight before the end of the world. I don’t know where he got his information. My immediate response was to ask him about the other areas in the world where it was not raining. How did that fit into his bogus prediction? He had no answer. That is what he heard.

The next big scare was Y2K. This felt like a more credible threat. It was based on computers. It seemed like something could go wrong. I wasn’t building bunkers but I was concerned enough to stay up and watch the Y2K celebrations on television from across the globe. This was actually exciting to watch but it also assured me that things were taken care of and we were all going to be ok. At least we got a really cool Apple Mac commercial out of it.

After Y2K I didn’t pay much attention to any predictions even though several occurred during the first decade of the 21st century. That was until 2011, when I started seeing End of the World billboards in Brooklyn, NY. “The Bible Guarantees it!” the billboards proclaimed.


The nutjob Harold Camping and his Family Radio Ministry failed twice in 2011 with his predictions. But that doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is that people give money to his church. LOTS OF MONEY. It’s disgusting. People are just stupid. Seriously.

Here we are today, another failed prediction. This one felt like forever to get here and go away. I’m so happy it will be over tomorrow. But what really upsets me is that I am a parent now and I have to calm my children. They hear other kids talk about the end of the world. They see it on their XBox – a countdown to the date. They see it in magazines and in newspapers and on TV. It is unavoidable. And the media loves this shit. One kid in my son’s class broke down in tears yesterday because he thought he was going to die today. His father told him it was true. That to me is child abuse. I think it is equally abusive for Christian parents to tell their kids about the bullshit second coming of Jesus.

But I prepared my kids early. Over a year ago they started to talk about 2012 and I went right to science to debunk all the claims they heard. We sat down and I taught them how to use their minds and be critical thinkers. And although, I’m sure in the back of their minds they might have approached this day with a bit of trepidation, they were laughing their way into it this morning. And tomorrow I plan to talk to them about how they can not believe things people say on faith. I am planning on immunizing them from faith and believing things without good evidence. And if it works, they will live through as many false predictions as I did. They, too, will have (at least) 9 lives.

I am going to try to blog next week, perhaps after the holiday. Until then, please have a safe and happy holiday. 


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