Thanksgiving Reboot

Kurt Russell in The Thing

In 1951, Howard Hawks gave us the Science Fiction / Horror film, The Thing from Another World. People screamed. In 1982, John Carpenter remade The Thing. People screamed louder. Last year Universal release another remake of The Thing. People screamed for their money back. In the film industry, remakes usually are a bad thing. John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the rare remakes that most critics cite as better than the original.

A reboot is something different. Take the Sam Raimi Spiderman Trilogy starring Tobey Maguire, for example. A perfectly good trilogy. Why didn’t the studio decide to make another Spiderman movie with a new villain? Even if they wanted to replace Maguire they could have continued the story. But instead, this year, they started all over from the beginning with a new cast. The same tired story of Peter Parker getting bit by a radioactive spider. Bored now. Studios are deciding to reboot a series for an entirely new generation. I suppose the younger kids want their very own Peter Parker.

What does all this movie speak have to do with Thanksgiving? I’m suggesting a Thanksgiving Reboot for those who have not already done so. We can re-imagine Thanksgiving for a new generation. In fact, we can do this for all the holidays. It was done before… by the Christians. Christmas was a pagan holiday, Easter was pagan, Halloween has pagan roots, adopted by Christianity and it appears has been sent back to the pagans. Thanksgiving really isn’t a religious holiday. It’s an American holiday but the holiday, as I had explained in the past blog, is dripping in blood. The dark history of Christian settlers should not be forgotten but shouldn’t be celebrated either. The Thanksgiving reboot is a celebration of family and friends. It’s a celebration of life and love. It’s a celebration of whatever you wish it to be. One thing it is not is a celebration of murderous Christians. It is not a celebration of settlement through genocide. I think that most people already have rebooted Thanksgiving. I also think that Christians will continue to thank God on Thanksgiving. Hopefully secularism grows in great numbers so that those Christians who sit around and thank a god before dinner will look just as silly as people who want to dance around naked at Stonehenge. I would love to hear how you celebrate Thanksgiving without celebrating the bloody past or thanking god. Leave a comment below.

The one thing we want to avoid though, is something Christians do well when it comes to rewriting and/or choosing not to accept history. This is known as cognitive dissonance. When two conflicting ideas are in our head we choose to see only one idea and toss the other one out. For example, Christians usually can not believe that god is all-loving but also supports slavery [or fill in your favorite evil deed by god in the bible here]. So the mind will try to eliminate the uncomfortable conflict. Christians will either deny, push away, rewrite, reinterpret what they are hearing in order to still hold their beliefs. I am thinking this is the same way people celebrate the happy-go-lucky traditional Thanksgiving story without acknowledging the genocide. Same with Columbus Day. But this shouldn’t be how we approach rebooting Thanksgiving. We can acknowledge that the founding of America wasn’t all peachy with a side of keen and still enjoy a nice meal with those we are thankful to have in our lives.

What still blows my mind is how the founding of America was only hundreds of years ago. The history is well documented. Still, the average person doesn’t know the whole, true story. So how is it that such a poorly documented religion like Christianity – no documentation exists during the first century and no eyewitness accounts exist either. Once people started writing stuff down it is replete with controversial forgeries and conflicting stories. Thousands of years of people fucking shit up and Christians insist that the Bible is reliable. Fucking morons.

Since I was too busy to write yesterday, I combined my final thoughts in this blog. I hope you enjoyed your holiday. I’ll be back next week with some new responses to Christian claims. Until then, here is a bit of Thanksgiving Horror Fun.


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