Anti-Binks Indoctrination

“Kill Jar Jar Binks!” These are the words of my five-year-old stepson, Noah. In less than a year, I have managed to take a child who would play with a Jar Jar Binks action figure to one who wouldn’t even sell it on eBay since it would be indirectly supporting Binks. In fact, just this past Saturday he had a play date with his friend, Sean. Sean wanted to play Lego Star Wars on the PS3 (Playstaion 3 for the layperson). Noah was fine with this–under one condition. His friend was not allowed to play Jar Jar. Sean, not understanding why, immediately responded, “Why? Is that who you play with?” With utter repulsion at the suggestion, Noah told the boy that nobody should play as Jar Jar Binks. Spoken like a true stepson of a pure Star Wars Fundamentalist.


As a Militant OT (Original Trilogy) Theorist, there are fundamental truths that I take seriously, the most infamous is the “Han shot first” creed. Here are a few more.

  • The force can not be determined by a simple blood test.
  • It follows that midi-chlorians are a fallacy.
  • Darth Vader / Anakin Skywalker did not build C-3PO
  • Yoda never rode on the back of Chewbacca.
  • Obi-Wan never fought side-by-side with R2-D2 prior to Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
  • Jar Jar Binks never existed and was not a senator whose vote was ultimately responsible for the creation of the Evil Empire.
  • In fact, despite being documented between the years of 1999 – 2005 CE, the historicity of the Star Wars prequels is false.

The indoctrination of children into religion has been under fire in recent years as child abuse. A strong movement has been gaining popularity to teach children to reason and question on their own. In short, to think for themselves. I happen to agree. But one could argue that if I tell my children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, isn’t that just as abusive? Perhaps it is. However, I am not witnessing adults either killing for Santa or making laws in the name of the Easter Bunny.

The Anti-Binks Indoctrination proves that not only is it easy to mold a child’s mind but it also contains the properties of a virus. It isn’t difficult to get Children to march in the Santa Pride Parade. There is a confirmation bias prevalent in society that perpetuates the false belief in that Jolly Ol’ Elf. A child, even one who is slightly skeptical, will see television shows, movies and department store impostors as proof. In fact, there are movies that deal with the question of “Is Santa real?” These movies come to the conclusion that he is real and it is bad to question. Parents discourage the natural childhood skepticism by telling them that Santa can hear their doubts (thoughtcrime?) and if they keep it up they will have no toys under the tree come Christmas morning.

What the Anti-Binks movement demonstrates is that indoctrination is easily accomplished even without influences from outside sources.So with only my influence, the child developed a deep-seated hatred for Jar Jar to the point of calling for his death. Not only that, but he also is stepping out of his family circle and spreading Binks hatred to others. Recognizing how easy it was to create this anti-Gungan sentiment, the possibility is strong that Jar Jar will be repugnant in the future. We might see graven images and mini-monuments (aka toys) of Jar Jar sought after and destroyed. As a Star Wars Fundie, I will rejoice the day when children everywhere celebrate by drizzling the blood of Jar Jar Binks on their cornflakes. However, this could result in turning Jar Jar from a racist puppet from George Lucas’ mind to a cult savior god.

*The period of riots beginning in 1999, known as Gungansnachht, which resulted in the burning of one movie theater and the death of a myna bird named Fred was short lived. It ended shortly after the release of Attack of the Clones (2002 CE) when movie goers saw a drastically reduced amount of screen time for the controversial Senator from Naboo. Scholars disagree on whether or not there is any supporting evidence to connect the conflagration and avian demise to the release of The Phantom Menace.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s